Relationship Predators – how to spot one before its too late!
Since starting my mediumship work nearly 4 years ago now in the Cape, there have been what I would call disturbing re-occurrences one of which I really want to help and tackle today.
Relationship predators as I call them are Narcissistic people with no morals or concerns for anyone other than themselves – and they are growing in numbers.
You know the type and you always wonder why do I end up with the same type of person? The answer actually is not because of you personally, but as you will read these predators hunt and look for similar traits in a person.
Remember these relationship predators are both male and female, although the majority will be male.
What these relationship predators look for in a victim?
- People who are open or too open to suggestion. This is why we ask people to be sure they are grounded.
- There is no age limit. I have had clients from late teens through to late 60’s.
- People who are emphatics. If you are a natural empathy person who feels with the heart or wears their heart on their sleeve then you need to learn protection.
- Someone who is willing to listen and not be judgemental. This is a game to them so it matters not what you feel you just need to hear them.
They follow a similar pattern!
- First they gain your friendship and then your trust. They will always work on the one area you are open too and that’s normally your emotions.
- They make you feel that you are special and that you both have a common bond or connection which “cannot be explained”
- They usually then start small with their requests. Normally money to help out with a late payment or a friend and it will be a smallish amount that you will be comfortable with.
- After more thanks and lavish kind words the requests (after about 4 weeks) become higher and more urgent or demanding requests. Again they are working you emotions.
- This continues till you say no, then they become more threatening. “You do not understand…” or “how could YOU possibly put me in this situation” are common lines
- If the threats / blackmail don’t work (because they really do not want confrontation), then they go silent for a week before you get the “Im sorry” messages come through.
- If you at this point you let them in then its back to point 3 and continue the loop!
Remember these people are all about control for what they want. I used the example above with money but it’s more often than not also sex or anything else they can get.
Here’s the SHOCKER! You will not be the only one they are doing this to whilst they are doing it to you!
What to do and escape.
- Recognise the signs and admit to yourself you are in a position
- Be blunt and honest and ask them to move on and out of your life. They will try to avoid confrontation and tend to shout more than anything so do not be intimidated
- Block them and do not answer the messages not matter what they say. The messages are just words and are meaningless
- Understand that it’s NOT your doing and you are NOT to blame.
- Speak to a close friend and get advise.
- Move on quickly and know that there is someone special waiting for you.
I must point out that this is not necessary those in a Friendship but even in a new or existing relationship. In whatever you circumstances always seek professional advice.